Tired of Unmet Desires? Discover 4 Ways to Unlock True Passion in Your Relationship

Ready for the Best Sex of Your Life?

(Author’s Note: Substack revoked my ability to offer paid subscriptions. So, while I’ll continue to post content here if you’d like access to my intimate content including erotic audio readings, spicey photo & video essays, guided self-pleasure meditations, and video tutorials that will help you become a better lover, you’ll have to go to my O F spicy site. You can find it here and my handle is @talksexwithannette. Same subscription price. Zero censorship.

If you aren’t ready to take the leap to subscription, check out my Free Spicey page Annette Talks Sex with the handle @annettetalkssex.)

Are you tired of reading the same old advice about sex and intimacy that just doesn’t seem to work? Have you tried all the self-help books, therapy sessions, and podcasts, only to find yourself still stuck in a sexual rut? Listen, I get it. You’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. As a sex and intimacy coach, I hear this all the time. And here’s the good news: You don’t have to settle for a lackluster love life.

You deserve a sex life that’s not just good but mind-blowingly amazing—and I’m going to give you four actionable steps you can take tonight to set the foundation for just that. Whether you’re single and rocking solo intimacy or partnered and feeling disconnected, these tips are for you.

Step 1: Define What Sex and Intimacy Mean to You

Let’s start with a simple but shockingly overlooked question: What does sex and intimacy mean to you? Seriously. Most people don’t even know how to answer this when asked. But getting clear on this is the key to unlocking deeper connection and pleasure.

• Is sex a space for romance, love, and connection?

• Is it a sanctuary where you can escape and recharge?

• Or maybe it’s a playground for creativity and fantasy?

Your answer might surprise you, and it’s okay if you don’t have one right away. This exercise isn’t just for you; have your partner do it too (if you’re partnered). Compare your answers. Where do they align? Where do they differ? Alignment is the sweet spot, but differences aren’t dealbreakers—they’re opportunities for growth.

Step 2: Map Out Your Arousal Blueprint

What really gets you going? If your answer is “I don’t know,” it’s time to find out. Explore your erotic blueprint—the key to understanding what turns you (and your partner) on.

There are five main erotic blueprints:

• Energetic: Turned on by anticipation and tease

• Sensual: Aroused by touch, smells, and beauty

• Sexual: It’s all about the classic acts of sex

• Kinky: Excited by power dynamics, taboo, and exploration

• Shapeshifter: A mix of all the above

Take the quiz or just start exploring. Know your own blueprint, learn your partner’s, and see how they align—or don’t. Trust me, this is a game-changer.

Step 3: Imagine Your Dream Sex Life

If you could have your perfect sex life, what would it look like? Close your eyes and walk yourself through a day in the life of your ideal intimacy. Here are some prompts to get you started:

• How often would you have sex?

• What would that sex look and feel like?

• Where would it happen? Who would it happen with?

Get specific. Write it down. Share it with your partner. When you’re crystal clear about your desires, you’re that much closer to making them a reality.

Step 4: Identify Your Barriers to Pleasure

What’s stopping you from experiencing the intimacy and pleasure you crave? These are your sexual “brakes.”

Common barriers include:

• Stress: The ultimate libido killer

• Misaligned expectations: Romantic gestures might light one person’s fire and extinguish another’s

• Routine: Falling into the same old patterns that no longer excite

Once you’ve identified your barriers, you can start addressing them. And remember, intimacy begins long before the bedroom—sometimes with a simple flirtatious text or a shared laugh. Start small and build from there.

Ready to Take It Further?

These four steps are just the beginning. If you want the deep dive—including spicy demonstrations and step-by-step guides—head over to my OF page, where I share all the tips, tricks, and techniques to get your sex life unstuck. Whether you’re looking for beginner-friendly advice or advanced how-tos, I’ve got you covered.

Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Subscribe to my Substack for more empowering articles, or reach out to me directly for coaching here. Together, we’ll get your sex life not just back on track but better than ever.

Cheers to your pleasure journey! Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments or my inbox—what’s your biggest takeaway from this article? I’d love to hear from you!